It’s 6pm on a Friday evening, dark outside, minus 5 degrees in the office and everyone else has gone to the pub, distant hoots of laughter carrying on the frosty air. Poor Cinders is shivering in front of an inscrutably flickering glow, the Ghost of Google Analytics. Cinders steels herself and remembers the words of her Fairy Godmentor. All you have to do is know the question and all will be revealed.
“How do I know if I have reached my goal?” whispers Cinders, full of hope.
Google Analytics makes no reply.
“Now, let me see,” says Cinders, “is it Acquisitions, Search Console, Multi-Channel Funnels, Attribution or Users Flow? None of these words make any sense to a person without a computer science degree. I’ll have to stay here all weekend.”
“Yes, you will,” replied Google Analytics with a wicked whoosh of the computer fan, “and longer than that if you want anything meaningful from me. And even when you have created a dashboard to answer your pitiable questions, you’ll NEVER know if you’ve done it right. There are so many variables. Your box office system makes it complicated, you’ll need to exclude some events and users or they’ll skew the figures and the way your website’s set up you’ll need your developer to help and he doesn’t know much about analytics. Plus, I look different every time you log in. You’ll never, ever, ever keep up unless you work on me every day of your life. You work in the arts and so you do all the press, advertising, print, online advertising, social media and more. You’ll feel constantly behind and miserable. Mwah mwah mwah.”
Cinders begins to weep. “What shall I do? I feel sick just looking at all those graphs and pie charts. I know what I need. I just don’t know how to get it!”
That’s when the revelation comes, like a shooting star from above.
“I don’t have to stay and work this out. I can divert some of the gold from my budget to an analytics expert. They can conjure up a dashboard that I know I can trust and I can get on with creating campaigns with engaging content. The results will be analysed like magic and I can be agile at last! I shall go to the pub!”
And so it was. The moral of the tale? You can’t live without Google Analytics, but if you’re struggling, get an expert to turn it from a burdensome pumpkin to a golden carriage of invaluable information and live happily ever after.
An extra stocking filler
If your list of chores is too long, use Eisenhower’s Matrix. You can’t do it all and you could be wasting your time doing things that really don’t matter.
Q1: Urgent and important. This task goes to the top of the list.
Q2: All those things that need time and would benefit your job/career but aren’t urgent? Tell your ugly sisters to back off, put them in your diary and ring-fence the time.
Q3: It’s urgent, but does it have to be you? Delegate. (In my case, refer to the Tale of Google Analytics).
Q4: It’s not urgent and ask yourself, does it really need doing? If not, don’t do it. Delete. And tell your wicked stepmother where to stick it (using Analytics to prove your point).
MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL